Not sure how many of you followed her blog or knew her story, but cystic fibrosis warrior Eva passed away this morning after an epic battle. I know her family and friends can be sure she is now at peace after so many struggles.
http://65redroses.livejournal.com/139488.html
27 March 2010
25 March 2010
Oh, the trouble I've seen
I love being a mom. I really do. But there are definitely things that I miss about being childless. Like right now - I would so much rather be watching One Life to Live or the Mets/Cardinals game. Instead.. "Snow Buddies". Sigh. So much to sacrifice for a few rare moments of peace with the 4 year old. And believe it or not, he is sitting on the couch, completely quiet and mostly still. Amazing.
Then there is sleep. Ah, precious sleep. If you aren't a sleep person, you won't get it. I adore sleep. I crave it. I always have, even as a kid. My dad was a notorious napper..I blame it on genes. Giving up sleep, or at least uninterrupted at-will sleep has been one of the more difficult transitions I have had to make as a parent. I can't wait until my kids are old enough to WANT to sleep in.
Of course I miss my size 4 pre-parenthood figure. And on the sleep subject (see? I have a one track mind!) I really miss sleeping on my stomach. Its not that I can't, I just don't anymore. I was so trained to sleep on my side after 4 babies that I still do it.
I miss being able to go out on a whim. I miss shopping without an agenda or plan. I miss being able to do anything spontaneous, quite honestly.
I miss not having to worry, 24/7. But alas, that comes with the territory. I am now a constant worrier. I come up with ridiculous scenarios about various ills that may befall my kiddos. OCD much?
Yet, these are the sacrifices that we gladly make..right?? Sure they are! Although I personally can't wait to be a parent of grown children. :)
Then there is sleep. Ah, precious sleep. If you aren't a sleep person, you won't get it. I adore sleep. I crave it. I always have, even as a kid. My dad was a notorious napper..I blame it on genes. Giving up sleep, or at least uninterrupted at-will sleep has been one of the more difficult transitions I have had to make as a parent. I can't wait until my kids are old enough to WANT to sleep in.
Of course I miss my size 4 pre-parenthood figure. And on the sleep subject (see? I have a one track mind!) I really miss sleeping on my stomach. Its not that I can't, I just don't anymore. I was so trained to sleep on my side after 4 babies that I still do it.
I miss being able to go out on a whim. I miss shopping without an agenda or plan. I miss being able to do anything spontaneous, quite honestly.
I miss not having to worry, 24/7. But alas, that comes with the territory. I am now a constant worrier. I come up with ridiculous scenarios about various ills that may befall my kiddos. OCD much?
Yet, these are the sacrifices that we gladly make..right?? Sure they are! Although I personally can't wait to be a parent of grown children. :)
23 March 2010
cups and fishicide
I'm missing my littles today. As I recline on the couch watching "Wizards of Wiverly/Wizerly Place the Movie" (how Bay says it depends on the moment) I wonder what they are doing right now. The time zone difference screws me up. Its almost noon here, but for them its probably morning recess. And I bet its warm, dammit.
I have been talking to them almost nightly lately, its as if they sense my missing them and want to fill me in on their days. Dilly, or "Orange-y", in particular. He gave me a near 5 minute lecture this weekend on how if Bay is really serious about playing t-ball it is very important that he not forget to wear a cup. *snickers* I totally needed a long conversation with a 7 year old about boy junk. He also sweetly offered to send Bay his old t-ball gear - including his cup. Um, thanks Dill. I think we can handle it. I want to laugh every time I even think about him. His typical response to anything I tell him is "Oh my god." Spoken almost in one word. Dramatic much?
They got new fish this weekend. Some sort of African fish that apparently eats other fish. It seems their dad wanted to start fresh in the tank. I didn't ask. Sometimes its better not to know. Dilly thought it was cool. Logan really couldn't care less. Cassie, on the other hand, described to me how she took her favorite fish and proceeded to "free" it, Nemo style, down the toilet, rather than risk fish murder at the hands of the new African fish. Ummm, ok. No, I didn't take it any further. She's going to end up being a vet. Or maybe a lion tamer. Either way. Although she was channeling her inner me, doing her science project on the very last night of the very last day of Spring Break. Nope, not me!
As long as I maintain some level of knowledge about video games, Logan and I could talk for hours. He is so calm and so cool. I love that about him. Yes, he gets emotional. But he is such an even-keeled child. So UNlike his mama. I won't lie and say that I don't intentionally try to rile him up. ;)
I can't wait for them to come out and experience this new place. They are going to love it, its so completely different than anything my Southwest born and bred children have ever experienced. Just about 2 months. I can't wait.
I have been talking to them almost nightly lately, its as if they sense my missing them and want to fill me in on their days. Dilly, or "Orange-y", in particular. He gave me a near 5 minute lecture this weekend on how if Bay is really serious about playing t-ball it is very important that he not forget to wear a cup. *snickers* I totally needed a long conversation with a 7 year old about boy junk. He also sweetly offered to send Bay his old t-ball gear - including his cup. Um, thanks Dill. I think we can handle it. I want to laugh every time I even think about him. His typical response to anything I tell him is "Oh my god." Spoken almost in one word. Dramatic much?
They got new fish this weekend. Some sort of African fish that apparently eats other fish. It seems their dad wanted to start fresh in the tank. I didn't ask. Sometimes its better not to know. Dilly thought it was cool. Logan really couldn't care less. Cassie, on the other hand, described to me how she took her favorite fish and proceeded to "free" it, Nemo style, down the toilet, rather than risk fish murder at the hands of the new African fish. Ummm, ok. No, I didn't take it any further. She's going to end up being a vet. Or maybe a lion tamer. Either way. Although she was channeling her inner me, doing her science project on the very last night of the very last day of Spring Break. Nope, not me!
As long as I maintain some level of knowledge about video games, Logan and I could talk for hours. He is so calm and so cool. I love that about him. Yes, he gets emotional. But he is such an even-keeled child. So UNlike his mama. I won't lie and say that I don't intentionally try to rile him up. ;)
I can't wait for them to come out and experience this new place. They are going to love it, its so completely different than anything my Southwest born and bred children have ever experienced. Just about 2 months. I can't wait.
22 March 2010
Detox
Seriously. I feel like I need basketball rehab after this weekend. And lets be totally honest -- its not just this weekend. As I find myself, well, without work or purpose in general, I've watched basketball from pre-conference tournaments through this last weekend pretty much every day. I'm a junkie. And its not even baseball season yet.
The lowlight of the weekend for me is two-fold. The first is what didn't happen, that is Arizona not being in the field for the first time in a bazillion years. The second was my upstart NMSU Aggies getting oh-so-close to beating Michigan State. (Mikey and I still maintain they got screwed by the refs, but that's neither here nor there) We were watching the game at a bar and there were more than a few people there that were shooting me strange glances as I yelled at the TV. We live in Kentucky. If you don't bleed blue, I'm not sure they get it.
Notice I leave out how badly the Horns sucked. It doesn't even deserve mention. And I could write a thesis on the Lobos, but I won't.
The highlight was also two-fold and has to do with underdogs. I have liked St. Marys for awhile, I have a love for the West Coast Conference that dates back a long time. This team of theirs this year is scrappy, ugly, spastic and oh so fun to watch. I hope they win it all, I really do. Not to mention most of their starters are from Australia. What's that all about?
And the highest of highlights is of course Kansas. Oh, thank you Northern Iowa. I couldn't have scripted it better. It maimed my bracket. I could care less. I cackled, yes, cackled, like a maniac for longer than was necessary. This time it was my in-laws who looked at me like I was certifiable. Glad I could oblige. :)
Today it is cold, wet and basketball free and we are all worn out. Tired, maybe a bit sick and completely basketball hungover. Perfect day for a baseball game, huh?
The lowlight of the weekend for me is two-fold. The first is what didn't happen, that is Arizona not being in the field for the first time in a bazillion years. The second was my upstart NMSU Aggies getting oh-so-close to beating Michigan State. (Mikey and I still maintain they got screwed by the refs, but that's neither here nor there) We were watching the game at a bar and there were more than a few people there that were shooting me strange glances as I yelled at the TV. We live in Kentucky. If you don't bleed blue, I'm not sure they get it.
Notice I leave out how badly the Horns sucked. It doesn't even deserve mention. And I could write a thesis on the Lobos, but I won't.
The highlight was also two-fold and has to do with underdogs. I have liked St. Marys for awhile, I have a love for the West Coast Conference that dates back a long time. This team of theirs this year is scrappy, ugly, spastic and oh so fun to watch. I hope they win it all, I really do. Not to mention most of their starters are from Australia. What's that all about?
And the highest of highlights is of course Kansas. Oh, thank you Northern Iowa. I couldn't have scripted it better. It maimed my bracket. I could care less. I cackled, yes, cackled, like a maniac for longer than was necessary. This time it was my in-laws who looked at me like I was certifiable. Glad I could oblige. :)
Today it is cold, wet and basketball free and we are all worn out. Tired, maybe a bit sick and completely basketball hungover. Perfect day for a baseball game, huh?
16 March 2010
Snuggie time
Yep, its cold again. I call NOT FAIR! It warmed up, I swear it did..if only for a few days. Even with rain, it was bearable outside. The last couple of days its been all I can do to get out from underneath a blanket or the dreaded Snuggie. I fought the Snuggie tooth and nail and for those of you that haven't had the pleasure of experiencing one, its even more ridiculous than it appears on tv. It doesn't stay closed and one size fits all my ass. But for a glorified blanket, it will work in a pinch.
I am ready for spring. Everyone keeps assuring me it will be worth it once everything comes up green and glorious. I believe them. Once the feet of snow melted, there was actual green grass underneath. Amazing! But a little warmth wouldn't hurt anything, I promise. I don't need sweltering heat, just enough so that I can put on some flip flops. Just enough so that I don't have to wear my winter coat or God forbid, the Snuggie to the Reds game during opening week.
The one thing conspicuously absent though? March means wind to me. I grew up in the Southwest, that is what I am programmed to expect. In Albuquerque and even worse in the townthatshallnotbenamed this time of year, you can expect to grind dirt particles in your teeth all day if you dare to step outside. I definitely don't miss the wind, and neither do my contacts.
So Ferb, I know what we are going to do today. Hunker down under our Snuggies and dream of spring. I know its out there, lurking, teasing me.
I am ready for spring. Everyone keeps assuring me it will be worth it once everything comes up green and glorious. I believe them. Once the feet of snow melted, there was actual green grass underneath. Amazing! But a little warmth wouldn't hurt anything, I promise. I don't need sweltering heat, just enough so that I can put on some flip flops. Just enough so that I don't have to wear my winter coat or God forbid, the Snuggie to the Reds game during opening week.
The one thing conspicuously absent though? March means wind to me. I grew up in the Southwest, that is what I am programmed to expect. In Albuquerque and even worse in the townthatshallnotbenamed this time of year, you can expect to grind dirt particles in your teeth all day if you dare to step outside. I definitely don't miss the wind, and neither do my contacts.
So Ferb, I know what we are going to do today. Hunker down under our Snuggies and dream of spring. I know its out there, lurking, teasing me.
08 March 2010
I am an other-worldly level of cranky today. Like, do not approach or you risk losing a body part. My sleeping patterns are whacked out at the moment, so that certainly doesn't help. I've been having dreams that run the gamut from getting murdered (that whole you can't dream about dying or you die myth? I'm here to tell you its BS) to sitting on a old couch on the patio of a restaurant owned by Dave Grohl. Ok, my husband was with me, but still. My awake hours are decidedly UNproductive, because, well, I don't really have much to do. It still invokes some level of guilt event though I know, logically, there is nothing I am neglecting or putting off.
Moral of the story? There isn't one. I just needed to growl a little. I'm trying to stay away from flesh and blood humans at the moment until their safety isn't in question. Better to pound away at the keyboard while they play Super Mario than scare them.
Moral of the story? There isn't one. I just needed to growl a little. I'm trying to stay away from flesh and blood humans at the moment until their safety isn't in question. Better to pound away at the keyboard while they play Super Mario than scare them.
04 March 2010
I've been getting just a little too "sullen, suffer in silence" for my own good the past few days. To throw out one selfish prop to myself, life with no money, no job and living with the inlaws isn't exactly the high life. But it IS our life at the moment and my fits of selfishness aren't going to make time go by any quicker.
Tonight is Mikey's first night at work. Hopefully he can get in and out of training muy rapido so that he can just start working. Its beyond frustrating that I can't work, for more reasons than me just wanting to help out monetarily. At this point I would love, love to get out on my own, at least for a little while a day. Unfortunately that isn't going to happen any time soon, at least until we can get another vehicle. So for now, I am here with Bay, Mikey when he is here now and Mikey's mom.
I'm reintroducing myself to the Disney Channel. I wish they showed Phineas and Ferb and Jonas all day.
The sheer volume of knitting projects I have not only cast on but finished since we've been here (two weeks tomorrow, in fact) is impressive. Including a very fancy blanket made for the one and only Cooper Cow last night. Spoiled rotten bovine, yes he is!
We've gone out a few times. Met a super cool bartender who was so impressed by her recent trip to Albuquerque that she tattoed red AND green chili on her arm. This weekend I'm hoping to go to the annual Bock Fest in Cincinnati, which also includes a tour of the Prohibition era breweries and bars that I missed the sign up for. Next year! Have I mentioned people that live in Cincinnati drink the most beer per capita of any metro area in the country? Perfect, right?
Mostly, its just a take it as it comes sort of existence. But hey! The sun stayed out alllll day long today, so I consider this an good sign of things to come. I'm seriously thinking about doing something drastic fitness wise this spring, so stay tuned for that. Or at least for a good laugh.
Tonight is Mikey's first night at work. Hopefully he can get in and out of training muy rapido so that he can just start working. Its beyond frustrating that I can't work, for more reasons than me just wanting to help out monetarily. At this point I would love, love to get out on my own, at least for a little while a day. Unfortunately that isn't going to happen any time soon, at least until we can get another vehicle. So for now, I am here with Bay, Mikey when he is here now and Mikey's mom.
I'm reintroducing myself to the Disney Channel. I wish they showed Phineas and Ferb and Jonas all day.
The sheer volume of knitting projects I have not only cast on but finished since we've been here (two weeks tomorrow, in fact) is impressive. Including a very fancy blanket made for the one and only Cooper Cow last night. Spoiled rotten bovine, yes he is!
We've gone out a few times. Met a super cool bartender who was so impressed by her recent trip to Albuquerque that she tattoed red AND green chili on her arm. This weekend I'm hoping to go to the annual Bock Fest in Cincinnati, which also includes a tour of the Prohibition era breweries and bars that I missed the sign up for. Next year! Have I mentioned people that live in Cincinnati drink the most beer per capita of any metro area in the country? Perfect, right?
Mostly, its just a take it as it comes sort of existence. But hey! The sun stayed out alllll day long today, so I consider this an good sign of things to come. I'm seriously thinking about doing something drastic fitness wise this spring, so stay tuned for that. Or at least for a good laugh.
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