Recently I asked my husband what he thought it was about the world today, why there is so much evil and violence and how it has changed so rapidly since we were kids. That scans two different generations of course, but I digress. (Sorry. I need every bit of humor I can get at the moment)
That thought came back to me this morning as I woke up in the early morning and saw the beginnings of the story of the Aurora shooting. Almost instantly. Why? I think that's my main problem with this story, this entire scenario. WHY? I see and hear people saying there is no motive, there doesn't have to be. I don't buy that. This person premeditated this. Planned it down to the last detail. If that wasn't evident in the initial reports, the booby trapped apartment made that clear. There has to be a motive. And yet I know there may never be any answers. This man was obviously ill, not that a mental illness can excuse such a tragedy. He obviously did not want to die either, which seems at odds with the profile he presents.
I sat and watched the news all day long. I turned it off for the baseball game, but guess what? It is back on again. What I need to hear, what I need to feel - and I am certain I am not alone - is the stories of the people whose lives meant something. People who just wanted to see a movie, people who waited for weeks, months, longer to see this movie. I spent the morning at the theater watching "Brave" with all 4 kiddos and the husband just yesterday morning. We joked about going to the midnight showing of TDKR. Now I try to imagine what if? What would I do? KIDS were in there. Kids were lost, parents were lost. I just can't wrap my head around it.
I intended to blog today about my first full day back to work since April. But THIS happened today. I feel sorrow, but I feel blessed for what I have been given as well. A second chance. A second chance to live the life I should lead. For myself, for my kids. I just can't help but think of all of those that didn't get the chance because of a sick individual with a gun. Every time I think I can't imagine the world getting sicker, it does.
I do want to mention a website I found today because of this tragedy. I didn't know a thing about it until I saw it linked to the story of the shooter. It hits home with me and I hope you will take a moment to read it.
http://www.twloha.com/blog/what-that-sticker-means
