I began this day with a completely different post in mind. Ironically, it had to do with how I was finding much joy in this holiday season compared to the last few years. I still want to talk about that. In fact, I think it's more important than ever to push that to the forefront. But first, I need to talk about what happened today, this terrible day in a tiny picturesque New England town. I just read a blog post that put it this way - I want to feel this to the core of my being. (http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/12/14/a-day-for-hatred/)
I don't know if I would have that level of emotion, that need to FEEL, that I do if I were not a parent. I would feel the loss, I would grieve with the families, there would still be tears for the innocent babies lost. Something about having children that age takes this entire nightmare to a different level. The first thing I felt when I heard the news: devastation. Heart break. And of course, the why??? How can you possibly begin to answer that? The truth is, you can't. We will never know why, we will never understand. As many facts as may come forward in the next days, weeks, months, there is no understanding about this evil. Pure, unadulterated, next level evil. I did my very best today to stay far away from political posturing. I've been nothing but consistent in my stance that I can completely disagree with a belief on an "issue" while still respecting your right to hold that belief. Today, that was hard.
Because this was not about guns or mental health or anything but that evil. How, I ask you, has our world become this playground for evil that we can't even send our kindergarden students to school safely? As many parents, the first and only thought in my head after details began coming in was I need to hug my kids and never ever let them go. I even suggested to my sister that we take the kids and move to a small Northern European country to finish out our days, me knitting clothes for everyone and the kids fishing for our sustenance. After that reassurance that everyone is ok in my world, my next overwhelming need was to fall to my knees and pray. Pray for the babies who will be spending Christmas in heaven. Pray for their broken families. Pray for everyone that had to see that crime scene. Pray for the innocent children left behind who might never feel safe again.
Most of all? Pray for our world. I pray that we haven't gone so far past that next level that we can no longer be redeemed. I pray that this horrible incident will drive more people to their knees and away from expressing their outrage over policy on social media. I pray for everyone that hurts, that wonders, that is heartbroken. More than ever we need to come back to basics. Basic human decency, love, trust in one another. Pray for these things.
Hold your love ones tighter than ever tonight. And if you will, please pray with me.
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