I'm doing a little blog tweaking, much like my life lately.  I talk about the silliness of life, our love of all things sports, family and an occasional crafty type post.  I will still do that, it's who I am.  But I am changing it up a little in the personal aspect of the blog.

The past few months have been a journey of self-discovery, pain, change, pain, love, loss, joy, utter despair and most of all...transition.  I am a Shan in transition.  It has never been a topic on my blog, but I have suffered from mental illness for the majority of my life.  I am choosing to talk about it now because I think it is important to share.  I have always felt like it was something to be ashamed of, something to hide.  I realize now, with lots of help, that it is important that everyone, including myself, sees this as an actual illness that needs treating.  Which I am doing, wholeheartedly and not without lots of trial and error.  Both with medication and therapy, with a whole boatload of different doctors.  I'm not gonna lie, it hasn't be pretty or easy in any way.  But at this point I sort of feel as if the fog is, if not lifting, thinning?

I know that it is a process.  My mantra has become not one day at a time, rather one second at a time.  Things can go from one extreme to another so quickly that this is the only way to survive.  I still look forward to things, of course.  But I don't live my life constantly looking in the future.  I am trying my best to live in the moment.  I am currently on a leave of absence from work.  Luckily for me, I work for an amazing company that has allowed me the time to get well.  I am hoping to go back in the next few weeks in a part time capacity.  We have had other changes as well, including an unplanned move out of our house into an apartment.  It's different.  But it's a nice apartment in a quiet, HUGE and beautiful wooded complex complete with fishing lakes.  The apartment itself is perfect for us and we only had to move around the corner.

Next week also marks the arrival of the guys!!  We are not doing the awesome roadtrip to go get them this year, unfortunately.  (yeah, that's it!)  They are spending the week in Florida and flying up here after that.  To say I cannot wait, well, that is an understatement.  With all of the things the last year has seen in our lives, I haven't been able to go visit them this year, so I haven't seen them at all in almost a year.  We have loads of fun and amazing things planned, so be certain that pictures will follow.

So there it is.  Life.

Oh, and because I have been insanely crafty lately, here is the current project for our awesome hardwood bathroom floors:

Tata for now!