God bless the child that's got his own

I began this day with a completely different post in mind.  Ironically, it had to do with how I was finding much joy in this holiday season compared to the last few years.  I still want to talk about that.  In fact, I think it's more important than ever to push that to the forefront.  But first, I need to talk about what happened today, this terrible day in a tiny picturesque New England town.  I just read a blog post that put it this way - I want to feel this to the core of my being.  (http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/12/14/a-day-for-hatred/)

I don't know if I would have that level of emotion, that need to FEEL, that I do if I were not a parent.  I would feel the loss, I would grieve with the families, there would still be tears for the innocent babies lost.  Something about having children that age takes this entire nightmare to a different level.  The first thing I felt when I heard the news: devastation.  Heart break.  And of course, the why???  How can you possibly begin to answer that?  The truth is, you can't.  We will never know why, we will never understand.  As many facts as may come forward in the next days, weeks, months, there is no understanding about this evil.  Pure, unadulterated, next level evil.  I did my very best today to stay far away from political posturing.  I've been nothing but consistent in my stance that I can completely disagree with a belief on an "issue" while still respecting your right to hold that belief.  Today, that was hard.

Because this was not about guns or mental health or anything but that evil.  How, I ask you, has our world become this playground for evil that we can't even send our kindergarden students to school safely?  As many parents, the first and only thought in my head after details began coming in was I need to hug my kids and never ever let them go.  I even suggested to my sister that we take the kids and move to a small Northern European country to finish out our days, me knitting clothes for everyone and the kids fishing for our sustenance.  After that reassurance that everyone is ok in my world, my next overwhelming need was to fall to my knees and pray.  Pray for the babies who will be spending Christmas in heaven.  Pray for their broken families.  Pray for everyone that had to see that crime scene.  Pray for the innocent children left behind who might never feel safe again.

Most of all?  Pray for our world.  I pray that we haven't gone so far past that next level that we can no longer be redeemed.  I pray that this horrible incident will drive more people to their knees and away from expressing their outrage over policy on social media.  I pray for everyone that hurts, that wonders, that is heartbroken.  More than ever we need to come back to basics.  Basic human decency, love, trust in one another.  Pray for these things.

Hold your love ones tighter than ever tonight.  And if you will, please pray with me.

This ain't no holiday, but it always turns out this way..

I am a sentimental sap, I admit it.  There was a time when I would have been (read: thought I was) way too cool to admit to such tripe, but I am a huge fan of Christmas/Holiday themed movies.  I watch them all, good, bad and too awful to admit to anyone that I actually watched other than my sister.  She gets the full lure of the Lifetime and Hallmark scene when you need a good Nora Roberts or Danielle Steel moment.

There are a few of these movies that I tape and watch over and over and over again until January.  For whatever reason, I don't own any of these movies on DVD.  I watch them on TV, because, well, just because.  It seems like the way to go.  This comes to mind today because two of them, lucky me, are on today.  Welcome to December folks, amateur hour is over!  I'm not one of those that starts the Christmas caroling and decorating in October - not looking at anyone that may or may not be related to my husband, certainly - but when it's time, it's time.

First up on my list, "The Family Stone".  If you've never seen this movie and you are prone to weeping, skip this one.  I sent a text to my sister when I started watching it this morning, asking if I was indeed a masochist.  The consensus is yes, yes I am.  To be fair, this movie came out the year before my dad died and I bet I first watched it the first Christmas after that.  So of course it's a tearjerker for me.  Other than that, I have no idea why I love this movie so much.  It's full of so much uncomfortable family dynamic that at times, even when I know what's coming, I have to put my fingers in my ears and go "la la la" during certain scenes.  And SJP?  She drives me insane!  Her character is maddening in this movie, so maybe that's why it works??  Dunno.  Regardless, I watch it every time it's on, even during the summer.  Yay me.

Second one I don't feel ashamed of, although I am a bit ashamed by the fact that I never actually watched the whole film until I was an adult.  It wasn't one of those family traditions when I was growing up and let's face it, it is a long movie.  Unless you are invested, maybe too long.  Not I, though.  Not even close.  I will watch "It's a Wonderful Life" at least 4 times during the month of December, and there have been a few seasons lately that I have watched it far more than that.  Black and white, traditional, honest to God character redemption at Christmas.  Sigh.  To me, all movies should be like this.

(on a completely random note: why does a picture of Bert and Ernie with a video camera come up when I search for this image??  Awkward.)

Who doesn't cheer for good ol' George Bailey?  He's the hometown boy, constantly overshadowed by his hero brother, with "all these kids" (I always giggle at that line), Mr. Potter, who truly is a giant ass; eternally plotting against him and a crazy uncle that loses money.  And I also don't know too many people out there that haven't had a George Bailey moment in their lives.  So let the angels get their wings, I will watch this movie and recite every word to myself every single year.  Strangely, I watch this one alone, no wonder why.

That's just the tip of the iceburg!  In conclusion, I watch entirely too much television.  The End.