Living an "ordinary" life with anxiety is a minute to minute challenge. I find I can go from being perfectly fine to overcome in warp speed. We are happy in our current living situation but... I hate that but. But, we have those neighbors. The ones that are up to no good at all hours, in all ways, in such a manner that it has begun to seep into our little existence. I may be um, wise with age (that's it!) but due to the life that I have led, I am not stupid. Cars coming and going all day and night with people in and out would make Jesse Pinkman proud. I've let this take control of my anxiety and my goal, besides getting the situation taken care of, is to rise above and let it flow right over me.
So. How I planned to begin this post today changed a little. But really, it fits right in quite nicely. I need to get over it. Because October is going to be my month of counting my blessings. Yes, yes, I know. Most people do this in November in conjunction with that turkey holiday, but if you know me, you know the turkey holiday is more about football, friends and family and a day of over indulgence than anything else. I can be the rebel that breaks that tradition and does it in October, because that's really who I am. Live with it.
I am doing a study on the life of David and a recent lesson had to do with counting your blessings when you are at your lowest, not your highest. This isn't a new theory for me. Since the spring, I do this every chance I get. Getting to my lowest has made me feel blessed daily. But this study has reminded me how important this is to do, even when you are struggling. Especially when you are struggling.
My goal is to do this daily in October, and it should not prove to be insurmountable because I see blessings in every aspect of my life, every day. I hope that sharing this part of my existence with you will be enjoyable, maybe even thought provoking. And because I conform to non-conformity, I start my daily quest today. On the last day of September. :)
Today, I am grateful for:
The beautiful midwest autumn weather that we are having. Crisp, clean beautiful days with a sky so blue you have to just stop and take it in. The change is coming, you can feel it, but for the moment it is absolute perfection.
Waking up this morning to an incessant alarm, only to have it replaced by a snuggle (and hulk smash) from the boy and Mikey. All while getting my toes licked by Rosie.
Getting ready to an amazing series of songs that made me smile, it was so me. Double shot of The Clash, Love Song (311 version), Bob Marley, I Will Survive (Cake version) and of course, some Muse.
Feeling so complete at home and at peace at church. Loving it even though the sermon today was awfully hard to take. We have never had this, and to have it now, well I think it might be the ultimate blessing.
Saying eh, whatever, to the diet and splurging into a big ol' Five Guys burger.
The Packers beat the Saints. (Not so sure that's a blessing since that makes the Mr. awfully mad, but I'm good with it) And I enjoyed it with what may be the last batch of Summer Shandy we see until next summer.
Knowing that I will go to work tomorrow with a new role, and having faith that I will kick that role's ass.
And I will wrap up the night with saying this. I am blessed to be here. And even when I am struggling, I remember His love and wake up to do it better the next day.
